I first ran into BDSM on a porn site. I had seen a little kink here and there, but never really had the guts to watch anything. I always thought that I should be disgusted by it, "It isn't normal." However, I always found myself thinking about things like chains, whips, obeying, and punishments, wondering what it must feel like, what does it do to someone? So I got up the courage to watch one night while I was pleasing myself, and to my astonishment I was completely turned on by pretty much all of it in it's entirety. I've never made myself cum so fast while watching porn. Needless to say, I was hooked.
This led me into looking things up and reading. I knew that those clips I watched were a show and that it truly wasn't really what it was like. After all, when that scene ends they go back to whatever normal life they have, this isn't their lifestyle necessarily. So I wanted to dig deeper, it was like a mystery I needed to solve.
I found a few blogs, and after reading a few posts here in there from other subs I decided to go to their beginnings and read. All of the blogs I currently follow I have gone back and read everything I could that they've written. I've learned more from them than anything else on the internet. All of them are different, and yet some form of submission is the connecting key. Through all of their different view-points I became enthralled.
About two weeks ago is where my story as Pet truly began.
I've been with Daddy for almost two years now. It has been an interesting two years, we have had many ups and many downs. However, through it all we've grown in many different ways. Despite going through moments where I believed it was over or falling apart, somehow he always managed to grab the pieces and say "Let's fix this," before I ever managed to throw them all away.
Daddy is a very sexual person, has been from day one. So in the beginning of our relationship I let him know that when I watched porn I watched BDSM, that's it. Call me a one trick pony, but I had figured out long before that this was what I liked. Back then he told me he had watched a few clips like that and that seemed to be the end of it.
Our relationship was vanilla to an extent. Daddy being a sexual person means that it was kinkier than I had been previously used to with others in my past, but it was still straight vanilla sex. Doggy-style was about the kinkiest thing we had ever done. Through this I still fantasized about what it would be like to be in the D/S dynamic, but instead of a play in my head to please myself with, it became a want in my life. It caused me to search myself, and ask myself what I wanted and why did I want it. Honestly, I'm still not sure if I can answer those questions straight, but I have come to the conclusion that I am content and almost impatient with my choice to say that, Yes, I want this.
About two weeks ago, Daddy became Daddy. Honestly it was like a switch flipped in him. We had had talks before where I was more straight forward about my interest and want in a D/S dynamic, and suddenly he was full fledged into it.
Let it be known, Daddy has never been a Dom before this. But I saw something in him, after he went through a few rough months and had to do some true soul searching of his own, I saw something beneath his skin that I'm not sure he knew was there. Presence. The confidence in himself grew exponentially, instead of wavering in decisions, he was sure. Instead of doting on past mistakes and hurts he has incurred throughout life, he became present and productive. He literally 180ed himself. He gained control over his emotions, his thoughts, his life. When this shift happened, I began to notice that I responded differently to him. My respect for him rose to more than I have ever respected a partner in my life, and through all of this I just knew that if anyone was capable of being what I needed for what I was searching for, it was him.
So, I slowly brought up D/S and within a week or two he was researching things himself. He ordered books to read, and started implementing certain things. Testing waters so to speak. Two weeks ago was the first time he truly referred to himself as my Dom and I his Sub. This is no longer a fantasy for me anymore, it is fastly becoming my life. And I am excited.
To make it known, I believe that I do not have a 100% clear idea of what all of this will entail. However, I have read a lot, researched what I could find that seemed informational and useful, and Daddy and I have had what feels like three million discussions. (and I'm sure we will have three million more) The past two weeks have been testing the waters. I've stepped out of line a few times, and I have received punishments. I've decided that in certain scenarios I like punishments, but in most scenarios I do NOT like them at all. But I've been accepting of them and we have talked about it after. There are so many things that we've discussed and covered these past couple of weeks that I can't possibly list it all, but it all boils down to I'm completely comfortable with where this is going and how our relationship is changing.
Tomorrow my official training begins!!!!
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