A Moment

   Last week on Wednesday Daddy and I had been talking while we were both at work. Luckily we have the ability to keep in touch every so often while we are working. Communication is key, but I've learned that just because you are talking doesn't necessarily mean you are communicating.
   For some odd reason I seem to actually have trouble with communication. I used to think it was just because I didn't talk enough, but I've realized that that isn't the case. I talk plenty, but the depth of my conversation is shallow at best. The things that need to be said or known I usually keep to myself. It wasn't until this moment actually a week later that that has dawned on me. I need to give Daddy the complete depth of my communication, which includes the problems that communicating brings. Allowing him to see the darkest parts and allowing him to decide how to handle them.
   I suppose it falls under the whole "letting someone in" line that you often hear people talk about. They don't want to get hurt so it's hard to "let someone in." Being vulnerable sexually is one piece of the puzzle. You have to be vulnerable down to your core, your very soul, in order to let some one encapsulate you. It creates an odd feeling of being smothered and yet embraced, terrifying yet safe. My problem....I don't even want to face the darkest parts of me. I've pushed all of it down, I've locked it away, not only out of fear of it driving loved ones away, but out of fear that I couldn't handle what it is...whatever it is. Honestly anymore I'm not sure. Suppose I don't like what I find? What if it changes me...this me I've worked so hard to become? What if Daddy doesn't like it? What if he leaves?
   So all in all, though on the surface for so long everything was going great, there were small things that I kept to myself that I believe started that shift from good girl to...oh I dunno...backlashy smart mouth bitch. Had I just told him certain things it wouldn't have gotten so out of hand.
   Wednesday came and we chatted trying to slowly feel our way around what the issues were and correct them or better understand them. I got caught up at work and decided to leave early hoping Daddy could still a little time away as well. I called him and he was pleasantly surprised. Then I asked him for a maintenance spanking. I felt I needed one and that maybe it would help. Daddy was even more surprised, but of course obliged. I went to his job where we jumped in his car and went to the park where we had ended our first date-the place we first kissed as well. We got into the back seat and I laid across Daddy's lap while he "warmed me up." The spanking was much needed. It started off I'd say normal, and got a little harder, but I was able to handle it. I'm not sure if mindset plays a role in how you receive pain and such, but mine must have been in the perfect spot. Though it hurt and I winced I didn't feel the need to wiggle or cry out, I just accepted it and it felt like it was over all to soon. I didn't count them this time, and Daddy wasn't interested it seemed in how many times he did it. I believe he did it until he felt satisfied that that was enough which was good enough for me.
   Once he was done I flipped over and stayed laying on him while we talked some more. My ass radiating heat thanks to all the spanks it received. I asked him if he would play with me, and again he obliged. Allowing me to cum just using his hands, letting me release and let out the rest of my emotions. All to soon it was back to his job so we could go our separate ways again for the moment. Duty calling us again in different directions.