Sunday, June 8, 2014 marked Daddy and I's two year anniversary! Mind you we've only been doing TTWD for about a month or so now, we had almost two years worth of a kinky vanilla relationship already down. Two years....I'm still amazed. I love the fact that despite the rough patches and differences we are still right here together, and adapting and changing together to suit each other. My love for him has grown immensely and I can honestly attribute it to allowing myself to open up to him even more. Thank you BDSM! Before we started this journey, I had many times found myself holding myself back from Daddy. Fear of being hurt, of loving someone more than they loved me, of being fooled again, of being used (in a bad way), and of being misunderstood kept me at bay from truly opening up and giving myself to him. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I have always been my best defense, and after my last relationship I didn't want to ever let anyone hold that power over me again. Kinda funny that now I give him all the power over me, eh? Irony folks....I live in irony.
Something about being his sub, of being His, allows me to drop my fears...maybe because it literally makes me face them. All I know is that I feel more free, more attached, and more in love with him now than I ever have with anyone, and it's refreshing.
Saturday (June 7th) my daughter and I went to his house to spend the day with Daddy and his son. It was a lovely day spent together. I can't say we did anything exciting, we worked really. Daddy had some yard work that needed tending to, and I went outside to help him. I sprayed all the weeds with weed killer while Daddy mowed and weeded. Then I helped him with some of the bushes and we got all nice and sweaty dirty. (yuck!!!!) After all that was done we went inside and I immediately went to the shower. I honestly can not stand being hot and sweaty. My daughter and his son were in the living room watching tv and relaxing, so Daddy came back with me.
It was the first time in what felt like forever for us to have a shower together!! Yay! I got the water ready while Daddy was piddling around. I know he tends to like me to get in a little before him since I require a lot more time in a shower than he does. So I stripped out of my nasty clothes and jumped in to start washing my hair. Soon I felt Daddy slide in behind me and he started running his hands over my back. I finished washing my hair and grabbed the body soap and quickly washed myself off. Then Daddy started trying to wash himself! I was mad, this was my job! So I started washing his hair and slightly massaging his neck. He melted for me, and I could see him relax. Soon I grabbed my loofa back and started washing him as well, running the loofa over him followed by my hand.
I love washing Daddy, it seems almost like a beautiful ritual. Especially when I get to his cock. Daddy is uncircumcised! This requires more attention to detail than circumcised men, and I enjoy pulling back the skin and making sure I got into each and every crevice with my hands. He enjoyed it to because he became instantly hard. I felt myself smile as his breath quickened a little and I knew he was liking being washed by me. Soon I ran my other had down and found his balls and washed them gently as well.
After getting him washed I started directing the water and rinsing him, his cock as hard as ever. We switched positions to where his back was against the wall and my back was getting hit by water, and I had a moment of hesitation. I wanted to suck his cock, I wanted it in my mouth, I wanted him owning me, any part of me, but I wasn't sure if I had permission. To make my hesitation stronger, there was a vibe going in the shower, and I knew if I stopped and asked I would ruin it. So I went with my gut and just got down on my knees, which hooray for me!! was the right choice!!!
I grabbed his cock and started sucking it, using my hands and my mouth trying to do it better than last time. I was told to research how to give good blow jobs. After reading and watching I don't know how many different things, I've come to the conclusion that my problem isn't not knowing what to do, it's not wanting to choke, vomit, or spit. However, this time I wanted Daddy to feel really good, and I wanted to prove that I did what he asked. So I spit often, I licked up and down his shaft focusing on the sensitive areas with the tip of my tongue, I went under and sucked and licked his balls while pleasuring him with my hand, I did all I could think of to not be near as prudish as I had always been.
Daddy of course reacted in many positive ways. I think the true test of everything was him grabbing my hair while his cock was in my mouth and fucking my mouth. Even though I still have a huge gag reflex he did it anyway, shoving it in as far as it could go until I could breathe anymore. Gagging often and vomiting a few times (luckily we were in the shower!!) he kept going. He'd pull out long enough for me to spit whatever was in my mouth out and his was right back in pushing as far as he could. It was dirty, but it was hot, and I could tell he was loving it.....and in some weird way I was to.
At one point of him doing this, and me not being allowed to breathe thanks to his cock taking up all the room in my throat I started gasping and could catch my breath after he pulled out again. He picked me up off the shower floor and rinsed me off, turned me around and laid me against him. Once I started breathing a bit better he massaged my head, and then stuck my face in the water. After that I went back down, but I'll admit some of the momentum was gone, and the water had started to get cold!
We got out of the shower and dried off and went directly to the bed. Daddy has been trying to teach me to hold back my orgasms until he says I can, so he is delighting in "testing" me. He played with me using his fingers and I could handle that ok....then he started eating me out and oh my god that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I think knowing I'm not allowed to cum made me want to cum so much more. That edge is a very fine line and without proper head control your body will jump over that line without a second thought. I somehow managed, but it involved a "Daddy, stop stop stop stop stop" other wise I wouldn't have made it.
He of course thought it was funny and giggled, but told me I did good and he was impressed. Then he shoved his cock inside of me and I instantly needed to know if I could cum....there would be no holding this back and I was trying. He granted me permission and I came all over his cock a few times before we switched positions and I presented myself to him with ass in the air. He pounded me hard, but not hard enough to hurt. With two kids in the house and thin walls noise has to be kept to a minimum. Soon he came....and came....and came.... He apparently had a lot of build up! I was leaking him out until the next day!! It's a lovely feeling to be sitting there and suddenly feel a glob of cum slide out you staining your underwear with a sticky love blob.
Tomorrow night I am spending the night with Daddy, and we are going to celebrate being together for 2 years. I know he is going to try to fuck me in the ass. I am both excited and terrified. I hope I can do it....I want him to be able to have and use all of me! Wish me luck!
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