Tolerance

  So I attempted to sleep with the buttplug in again last night, and again I couldn't manage to do it. I woke up about an hour and a half into my sleep with my ass just throbbing non-stop. Maybe sleeping while plugged isn't something my body is ready to accomplish yet. Which is funny, because I've gone almost a full 5 hours with it in my ass during the day without a single problem....who knows. I've also figured out that I can't wear it while I am driving, something about the way I sit makes it feel like my ass is on fire!!!
   I woke this morning and quickly got dressed and brushed my teeth. Daddy was skipping work today to get some errands done before our trip this weekend and I wanted to spend a little time with him. My coworker and I have a code when we are going to be late and potentially doing naughty things...we "let the horses out". No one seems to question that lol.
   Upon arriving at Daddy's house I let the dogs out and made coffee so it would be waiting for him. Then I went into his room in the hopes that I would get to wake up him like I did last time, but he was already awake. He quickly hopped back into bed and we snuggled a little and chatted while he managed to get his eyes more open. I kept giggling because when Daddy first wakes up he's like a lost caveman. His sleepy look could be a confused look, and rather than using words he tends to just grunt answers. I had already stripped naked, and soon I pulled off his boxers to allow his cock some air to breathe.
   I moved down and took him in my mouth getting him nice and slippery with my hand, slowly licking and sucking up and down his shaft. Now he grunted with small satisfaction! Once I got him all wet, I used my hand in unison with my mouth, considering I can't seem to deep throat with out vomiting everywhere this is the best I can give him for now. Plus who wants to be puked on first thing in the morning?
   Daddy soon felt awake enough and he sat up so we could chat a minute more while he stretched. He made note that we hadn't done punishments lately and there was one offense he still needed to punish me for. This put me off, majorly. I wasn't expecting a punishment this morning, and I certainly wasn't in the appropriate head space for it. I stood up and went to get his belt for him....that nasty evil belt. I brought it to the edge of the bed, got down, and unceremoniously handed it to him. He promptly told me to try again, so I re-situated myself took a deep breath and presented the belt to him in a much better way.
   He had me stand up and lay across the bed with ass out. This punishment was for not wearing make-up twice one week, something he obviously feels strongly about. Since I was a tad pressed for time he promised that this would be quick...he failed to mention that quick meant it would be a lot harder!! The next thing I know the belt cuts through the air and lands across my ass hard!!! So hard I instinctively arched up and for a moment I'll admit I refused to lay back down. I finally did, and one more landed across my ass harder than the first. It hurt so bad I was instantly pissed and too pissed off to really cry. So of course I stood up went to the closet and shut myself in the closet in a childish display of defiance.
   Daddy opened the door and took me to the bed and told me it would be quick, and proceeded to rub my ass. A welt had instantly appeared which he was rather fond of and he kept rubbing the edges of it. He asked me if I would forget again, and I said no Daddy I wouldn't. After rubbing and my ass was numb Daddy had me roll to my side and angle my ass toward him. He proceeded to fuck me and it felt wonderful! He was hitting all new areas that he normally doesn't hit. The down side, was it was a hard position to keep going. It also started hurting a little. So we flipped to one of Daddy's most favorite position. Doggy.
   I'm not sure if it was because the previous position was already starting to hurt or what, but doggy style was an extreme mix of pleasure and pain. I cried out it for both reasons and starting cumming repeatedly not sure of which feeling I was feeling more of. Daddy started to cum and in the same process started pounding me even harder. I yelled out more not sure if what I was feeling was more pain or more pleasure, however the orgasm that coursed through me told me either way there was apart of me that was loving it.
   When Daddy pulled out I curled up into a ball because the pain kept coming. I finally pinpointed what was wrong....Daddy fucked me into cramps!!! I'm not sure if that is something to be proud of, but he did seem amused when I told him that I thought he had broken me. Once the pain subsided some we got up and got dressed. I went and made him a cup of coffee to get the rest of his day started and then I left to go to work. All in all, despite my faults, it was a wonderful morning. But....it has brought some thoughts to light.

   I have a low pain tolerance, I knew it, Daddy knew it...everyone knows it. I stub my toe and I can tear up. I don't tend to act like a baby or boohoo with every hurt I seem to cause on myself, but it is very apparent that I don't handle pain well. This scares me because a big part of being a sub is, in the learning process, making mistakes and taking the punishments that go along with that. It is something that was agreed upon and something that I knew I would have to learn to handle. Despite that, I still seem to be unable to lay there, take a punishment, and remain collected. Crying goes along with it, I understand that. However, running away into a closet is not what was expected by either of us. (Although he admitted that after I left he sat there and laughed at it because of how childish I was acting)
   I hope I can learn to handle pain better if I can't seem to build up my tolerance for it. I want to do it for Daddy. I want to make him proud of me. I feel like I fail in a lot of areas...maybe one day. Maybe soon....time will tell I suppose.